Car Tips

Road rage is a sign of the times. We live in an age of high stress. And, ironically, the technology meant to make our lives easier has just increased the stress levels. Emails from work come in at 9 pm just as you’re unwinding in front of the TV. We’re expected to respond urgently to every WhatsApp and Messenger message. And a cellphone means you’re always in arm’s reach of whoever wants to harass you.

Sign of the times.

Yet even more ironically, we’re expected to be in a million places at once. Meetings are scheduled back-to-back. And getting anywhere on time is largely in the hands of the Gods. Traffic lights out – possibly due to sabotage by smash-and-grab gangs. Accidents on the streets. Road works. Roadblocks – at peak hour traffic! And our personal peeve, someone unnecessarily driving slow in the fast lane.

All these things combine to create a cocktail of volatility that can explode at any given moment.

Ask any victim of a road rage incident – even if it didn’t escalate further than someone following you around and hooting angrily – and they’ll tell you it’s scary stuff.

And it can escalate. Badly.

It just takes one hothead armed with a weapon to lose it, even for a brief moment, and your life is in danger.

While we don’t believe in victim-blaming, there are still precautions you can take to avoid setting someone off.

Don’t drive slow in the fast lane.

The fast lane is called the fast lane for a reason. It’s supposed to be for people who want to (hopefully) go to the maximum speed limit. It serves a purpose in keeping the flow of traffic going faster so the metaphorical artery of our roads doesn’t get clogged up. If you’re planning on turning right but you don’t like driving fast, it’s best to wait until you’re closer than two blocks down from the turn before you shift to the right lane.

Don’t deliberately keep speed with the driver in the other lane.

People might be in a rush, but that isn’t your business. If they want to be in a rush, let them be in a rush. People in a hurry like to weave through traffic. Other people get satisfaction in aligning their speed with the driver next to them to make it impossible for these drivers to weave. Effectively trapping and frustrating them. If they’re running late and stressed out, it could set them off.

Always do your checks and don’t take chances.

When you’re at a stop street and want to turn into the adjacent road, don’t forget to look in all directions. And you want to avoid pulling off when a driver is too close and force them to brake to avoid hitting you. That’s the general rule. If the person has to decelerate in order for you to get onto the road, then don’t do it. Rather wait, no matter how frustrating it might be for you.

Be courteous at a four-way stop.

The rule with four-way stops is: you come to a complete stop. Only then may you proceed. And whichever driver stops first gets to go first. If another driver is going to stop at his side first, don’t hit the accelerator and floor it through the stop without stopping yourself. They might be about to go and feel aggrieved by the discourtesy (and illegal) move. Similarly, resist the temptation to immediately follow the driver ahead of you as he or she drives forward, as the other driver whose turn it actually is might get exacerbated. We’ve once been in a situation (by non-working traffic lights, which operate the same way as a four-way stop) where two cars did this following the driver who had the legal right to go. Yet they brazenly drove through anyway. We didn’t get road rage, but we were certainly annoyed.

If you prang someone in an accident, don’t attempt to drive away.

Firstly, it’s illegal. Even though these may be trying times, you still owe it to the other driver to stop, assess the damage, and exchange contact details. Attempting to flee to avoid responsibility may result in a dangerous pursuit – which could result in a worse accident or a disastrous confrontation if the other driver catches up with you.

Don’t block off access to or from adjacent streets.

If you’re in a queue of cars and you’re moving forward, keep a gap open for cars who want to drive across the road. Blocking them off is just going to frustrate them, especially if it takes a while for the queue to get moving. Similarly, entrances to malls or complexes shouldn’t be blocked off either.

Park between the lines.

This one technically isn’t on the road, but if you’re in a rush, and you park, still check you’ve parked in a way that allows another driver to park in the bay next to yours. If you have parked badly, i.e. at an angle that involves your car being over the line, making it difficult for someone else to park in the neighbouring bay, take the time to straighten out. There’s nothing more frustrating to someone desperate for parking to spot the one next to yours, only to realise on closer inspection that you’ve effectively made it impossible to park there.

You may not see the person, but you may notice one of your tyres is deflated. Or a new scratch on the side of your car.

If you need help staying within the lines, we can recommend you start with a colouring-in book.

Car modding is becoming increasingly popular in the country. There’s a dedicated car modification community, one that’s growing. And now, you’re thinking, “Hey, maybe I should do that…” We’re here to tell you, maybe give it a second thought before you do anything that could potentially lower your vehicle’s value if you want to resell it someday. Consider us the Voice of Reason, complete with halo and harp, sitting on your right shoulder.

Suspend dropping the suspension.

Some car owners love the look of a sportscar. And nothing quite says ‘sportscar’ like a dropped suspension. There are just a few problems with doing this. One, you’re a lot more prone to road hazards. Second, speed bumps are a very popular speedster deterrent. For good reason. And going over one with dropped suspension requires even more cautiousness and care. Most car modders are into speed, but when you’re in an area with lots of speed bumps, nothing is more frustrating that grinding basically to a halt just to get over the hurdle without harming your car’s undercarriage. Worse, at certain times of the day, in can be hard to spot a speed bump. Going over one while driving fast does enough damage to a car with normal suspension. With dropped… it’s like a sledgehammer to the stomach.

Warranty voiding warranted?

Certain modifications can void your car manufacturers’ warranty. If you have a new car, you’re probably under warranty, and that’s how you want to stay for as long as possible. But altering things, like replacing parts, voids it faster than a bear in the woods. Even something as innocuous as removing your vehicle’s windows for specially tinted ones can void the warranty. Although in the latter case, simply having film installed does a similar trick, costs way less, and shouldn’t void anything.

Keep it legal.

The more extreme the modding, the more likely you’re to fall foul of your by-laws. They’re there to keep everyone safe and to keep the peace. Removing your car muffler might look cool, but the noise could soon be unbearable. Let’s say you live in a complex. Every time you leave or come back, you’re seriously buzzing off the neighbours more intensely than a swarm of bees besetting a honey badger. It won’t take long before they break out the burning torches and sharpened pitchforks and come to kick down your door.

Facelifts can go ugly fast.

Cosmetic modifications, like spoilers or flame decals, can look cool. Or they can look ridiculous. Imagine a sportscar spoiler on a VW Beetle. That’s as comical as a platypus flying with the wings of an eagle. Nope. Don’t do it. It isn’t worth it. Just like what can happen when you see celebrities with botched facelifts or plastic surgery. There’s nothing worse than one of those.

We’re not saying you shouldn’t mod. We’re just saying, think very carefully before you do. We wouldn’t want you to hurt the resale value of your car.

It’s become like Mad Max up in sunny South Africa. The apocalypse has come in the form of a fallen Rand and the strangulation of our wallets. Perhaps the most painful thing we’ve had to deal with is the cost of petrol. If things keep going this way, we’ll need to switch our cars for this:

Make hay while the sun shines, and all that. Hay at least is a form of fuel for this special type of vehicle that we can grow.

But that might not be practical for everybody, so instead we have some hot tips for you looking to save on petrol.

Ultimately, the key is to be as aerodynamic as possible. Cutting through the air like an arrow will make a big difference on your petrol consumption. The reason being, the more your car resists the air, the more petrol it requires to maintain its speed.

1. Keep your tyres tip-top

So, one of the major causes for increased petrol usage is your tyres and the condition they’re in. Damaged tyres cause more resistance than undamaged ones. Similarly, if your tyres are underinflated, they’re not delivering the ease of mobility they should be. Then there’s improper wheel alignment. When your wheels aren’t properly aligned, your car’s steering tends to veer off-course. This in turn affects how aerodynamic your car is – not to mention also wearing out your tyres much faster. You should get your alignment checked every six months. And definitely any time you hit a pot hole.

2. Keep in top gear

The higher your engine revs, the more petrol is consumed. Lower gears cause higher revs, so you don’t want to be in the habit of driving in third gear. Smooth movements up the gear chain is recommended. So start training yourself to drive how professional drivers drive: the moment the revs are high enough to change gears up, do so. You’ll have to balance this against changing gears too soon, when you don’t have enough power: this could cause your engine to stall.

When you’re all the way up to fifth or sixth gear (whichever is your top gear), try keep it there. When you require more power, gear down – but only the minimum required power. And when you’re planning to turn into another street, start gently gearing down before you get there, decelerating slowly. Some people rush to get to a corner, end up breaking suddenly, then require more power (and consequently more revs) to turn and carry on their journey. Driving fast, breaking suddenly, and the rapidly accelerating will burn your fuel fast.

3. Plan your day better.

The key is to drive consistently. Because people in the big cities lead such hectic lives, they tend to rush from appointment to appointment. As mentioned in the above paragraph, driving fast and then breaking suddenly, before rapidly accelerating again just burns fuel faster. People underestimate the length of time it can take to get from place to place – a common problem is to dally longer than you should at any one place, only to leave and realise they’re running late. Add in heavier traffic than usual, and they become tempted to drive more offensively – weaving at speed through traffic, pushing through, overtaking cars not necessarily going that slowly, etc.

Simply by ensuring you run on time, and overestimating travel time rather than the other way around, you’ll be able to drive at a more consistent speed, and not overrev your engine regularly.

We hope these tips help you in the ongoing fight against in metaphorically drowning in petrol prices.

Spring clean your car!

So it’s finally spring. The blue birds are tweeting (on Twitter, as always), the bunnies are hopping about in the meadow (probably far from the urban centres where you live, but it is still a pleasant thought), the bears are coming out of hibernation and out their caves (we have bears, right?).

And it’s time to do a little spring cleaning to welcome the new season.

After all, your car may have gotten into quite a state. Mildew. Mess. Muck. Weird forms of life growing out of that cheddar cheeseburger you half ate, and is currently in a cranny playing nooky. If you leave it there too long, Earth may face the real threat of a horror new species…

No, the patriotic thing to do is simply clean your car before any of this grows out of hand.

So we have some spring cleaning tips for you.

• Paint your car clean.

You must have some paint brushes lying around gathering dust. Time to gather more and clean out your AC vents. Those things can get filthy. You know a lot of dust is actually ‘the number 2’ of dust mites? Eating your dead skin? Yuck. And you’re breathing that in. Double yuck. Use the paint brush and get really into those vents.

Here it helps to have a cordless, portable vacuum cleaner. And they aren’t even that expensive. You can get them from any electronic store, many for less than R700. They’re worth the investment. Anyway, you’re going to be vacuuming as you dust with your paint brush. You’re painting with dust, we suppose you could say.

Liberal strokes, you’re an artist cleaner, now. Use them together. Our preference is the vacuum cleaner in your on-hand and the paint brush in your off. Just because the brush requires less control and precision, owing to size and weight. Make deft movements and as the dust picks up, vacuum it into oblivion.

• That old car smell has to go.

We all love the smell of a new car (which is actually caused by over 60 relatively poisonous chemicals – bet that puts a new spin on things). But what about a car that’s been around the block… all the blocks, multiple times? Simple. Change your cabin’s air filter. That thing is probably filthy by now. All the air coming through is getting a serious spray of toilet eau de toilette. Consult your owner’s manual about where it’s located and how to change it. (Or just Google it).

• “Houston, we have a problem”.

You may be terrified. Just as the deep-sea divers in those weird mechanical suits feel before going to great depths in an underworld chasm. What lurks at those fathoms? Giant squid? A dark Atlantean army hell-bent on conquering the surface world? Or even… Cthulhu? Unfortunately, for the sake of your car, you’re going to have to do it. Slide the seats forward. Climb into the back. Hold a small torch in your mouth, and scrape. With your hands. Mouldy sandwiches. Bits of bacon. Stale NikNaks. They’re in there. And they need to come out. Perhaps wear gloves. Even better, and just in case, fumigate your car 24 hours before this. We’re not taking responsibility for weird, exotic spider bites you may receive in the course of this action. When in doubt, ALWAYS fumigate.

Who knows? You may discover untold treasures. Like loose cigarettes. Maybe an entire pack. Coins. Coupons. Or even a R100 note (you lost it in mid-winter, when it was nose-deep in snow).

In any case, once you’re down, it’s time for an extension cord and your hardcore, heavy duty vacuum cleaner. You need to treat it like putting down a zombie – you remove the head and turn the sucker on.

• Animal lover? Don’t make cleaning the car hair-raising.

We love our fur-babies too. So we know exactly what it’s like having them in the back seat and leaving a nest filled with more hair than Chewbacca’s chest. It can be such a mission getting rid of it too. But all you need is a spray bottle of water, and one of those squeegee mops. Most of them you can just unscrew from the handle, making life easier. Spray spray, squeegee away. It helps having a bucket of water by the door, just to rinse out all the hair after each vigorous scrubbing.

• Remember to brush!

There’s nothing worse than those hard-to-remove crumbs and bits of dirt stuck in your car’s seat. They really get in the seams. Seems like there’s no way to get them out? Wrong! Simply find (or buy) a decent toothbrush. The thin, tight bristles are perfect for scraping the gunk and crud out. It helps to spritz the brush a bit with mildly soapy water. Don’t be too vigorous, but firm brushing movements will loosen and remove the ick easy enough.

• Give your seats a good hair day.

Now to your seats. Look for an all-purpose cleaning agent in your cupboard (please, please, avoid using anything with bleach in it) and dilute it in a bucket (or what have you) of warm water. Then use a bath sponge, preferably one that is old and clean of all… hairs… and rinse it in the bucket. Then scrub your car seats, gently but firmly. Really get into it. Do a Mr Miyagi, and wax on, wax off with your movements. Pretend you’re shampooing a client at a hair salon. Then take your floor mats, toss them into the washing machine, and let them take a spin cycle.

• Finally… baking soda!

Here’s the ultimate trick to getting rid of any lasting bad odours. Baking soda. Toss it into the car, sprinkled liberally, and leave it overnight. Next day, come with your vacuum cleaner and suck it all up. Why does this work? Because baking soda absorbs the molecules of bad odours. When you vacuum the soda, you take the odours with you. Once you’re done, take a very damp cloth, again with dilute general cleaner, and give your interior one last loving massage. Leave the windows slightly open, and for bonus points, leave a lavender car de-odoriser hanging on the rear-view mirror.

And… she’s done! Spring cleaned, perfect for giving rides to friends and family members, you can feel proud of your ride again!