How to drive the price of a car down.
Meet this week’s guest blogger, a seriously nasty piece of work, who tries to teach how to drive the price of a car down. Just a reminder to our loyal customers, you never have to worry about dealing with guys like this when you come to us. We’re all about giving you a fair offer, and we have nothing but respect for our customers. Not everybody is like us, though.
Forgive me for using a pseudonym. You can call me “A”. Surname, “Whole”. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I don’t have a heart of gold. No redeeming features. Except one. I love kittens. Who doesn’t love kittens? If it wasn’t for kittens, there’d be no internet.
But that’s about it. I’m mean. How mean? You could say I was grown in a lab, because I’m motherless.
Why? It’s great for getting price reductions. Whenever I buy something second-hand, I make an enticing offer. You know, to hook a buyer like a little fish. And I like the little ones. Never been the type to throw back undersized fish. Like this one guy. Seemed decent enough.
That’s perfect. Decent people are the ones you want. He invited me to look at his car one afternoon. I squeezed his hand as we introduced each other. “Mighty grip you got there, Tarzan,” I said as he winced. “Reminds me of my high school’s chess team.” Knocked off R5000.
He looked very embarrassed as I looked around his house. “I see you have a signed poster of Nickleback.”
“Yup,” he said proudly.
“My eight-year old niece listens to them when she’s crying herself to sleep.” Knocked off R2000. Poor guy. Looking down at his shoes like the answer to all life’s questions were there.
“Let’s see this car already.”
It was a white Polo Playa, of course. Had been looking for one for ages now.
“I don’t get it. ‘Polo Playa’. Considering you’ve been driving it, shouldn’t it be called a ‘Polo Spectator?’” Knocked off R4000.
His lower lip quivered. “You don’t have to be so mean.”
“Don’t go weeping on me, tough guy. Then I’ll start to weep, then we’ll all weep, what a story.” Knocked off R3000.
I inspected the car. “I don’t know about my original price. Don’t know if you’ll get much for it.”
“But it’s not in bad condition…?”
“Nope, but you are. Do you think it’s some guy called ‘Jim’ that people go to during lunch?” Knocked off R5000.
“I actually do run.”
“I’m sure. That’s why you shouldn’t eat Mexican food. Not everybody’s cut out for it, champ.” Knocked off R6000.
It’s why it’s better, in my opinion, to go with nice guys like BuyCentre. They’re respectful, helpful, and only want the best for their customers.
But I suppose there are plenty of people who think using sites like TakingChances.co.za is better. They’ll meet me, and I’ll change their minds.
Such as this guy. I was able to push his price down massively. So, needless to say, I drove off with a really cheap car, and left him with pocket change and years of therapy.